Tuesday, July 5, 2016

Panic Haikus

Rumbling beneath
Thrashing, churning, mocking me
The beast emerges

Go away, please go
I can't take it anymore
It is everywhere

Unrelenting, thud
Losing control, thud thud thud
I need help now, thud

Thud thud thud thud thud
Thud thud thud thud thud thud thud
Thud thud thud thud thud

I am very scared
I am out of control now
S-O-S send help

Nobody can help
Nobody possibly can
Only I can see

The beast is myself
Fueled by fear and doubt and angst
There is no escape

I, myself, ego
Bundle of contradictions
Self hate and self doubt

"Lonely and afraid"
They should make a T.V. show
I would win first place

Deep down I know me
Or do I really know me?
I think I know me

Low self-confidence
Too sensitive and fragile
Another grenade

I need omniscience
No room for error or mistake
But just a pipe-dream

Am I retarded?
One called me a piece of shit
And useless garbage

Hurt more than it should
I'm wounded and defeated
As they laugh at me

I FUCKING HATE YOU
EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU SUCKS
I HATE, I HATE YOU!!!

No, I can't give in
FUCK IT I AM GIVING IN
Punch, kick, rip, tear, kill

A fucking savage
Bellowing out silently
Writing a haiku

Breathing heavily
I have transformed to the beast
What have I become

I'm out of control
Thoughts whirring around my mind
Tornado of fear

Over-analyze
Always obsess and compulse
An infinite loop

The creeper crawler
What is around the corner?
Fear will prevent me

Break down in the car
Tears streaming down my cheekbones
They burn like acid

The world is scary
Boring, pointless, tedious
Painful, decaying

Just like my resolve
I don't want to die quite yet
I don't want to live [either]

Sleep is the escape
A little death before the
Inevitable

What if you are wrong?
What if you're an idiot?
What if you are evil?

Final expression
Complete, utter apathy
A broken windmill

Music is my friend
It always understands me
Me talking to me

So is poetry
Most of all philosophy
Love hate relation

Simultaneous
Best thing to happen to me
And also the worst

I guess I'm stuck now
In the valley of despair
"I'm just tired, thanks"

Thank you for reading
The pathetic tale of me
Hooray for my life

5 comments:

  1. And now for something completely different...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yup, well this blog is for philosophy and anxiety

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    2. Darthbarracuda,I sympathise with your feelings; I have experienced like.

      I found it helps to use poetic talent (which you obviously possess) to search for expressions of harmony.

      I have written many Haiku over the years. This one springs to mind:

      Lonely at the heart
      The silent Moon
      Crying over the dark ranges

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    3. As Sartre said: "Hell is other people". Hell is not inherent in your self, but in how it responds to the impositions of the other.

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    4. Thank you for the kind words, Thresholdsun

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